Waiting To Exhale?? No, Waiting For My Blood Saccharide To Come Upwards Dorsum Downwardly To Earth!

So slowly concluding nighttime  and into the 'wee small-scale hours of" this morn I had about blood carbohydrate issues.

And equally I sat in that place waiting too waiting for diabetes to play prissy too my blood carbohydrate to come upwardly dorsum downwards to earth, I started to write downwards what I was feeling inward my journal. 

And right away I'm sharing what I wrote amongst you. 

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OK, I desire to larn to bed - Seriously, that’s all I desire to do. 

I’m tired. I haven’t slept good the yesteryear dyad of nights too I accept to larn upwardly early on too larn to go inward similar morning. Yep, stick a fork inward me because I’M. FREAKING. DONE. 

But I can’t larn to bed because my blood carbohydrate is 286, upwardly xx points from an hr agone too afterwards a site change. 

And I’m mad. Mad at my blood sugar, made at myself for creating the blood carbohydrate too mad at my pancreas for abandoning me all those years ago. But I can’t larn all “guest on The Gerry Springer Show,” type of mad because I’m trying to stay calm too await xxx minutes to encounter if my correction bolus kicks in. 

Ironically, when ane has a high blood sugar, all ane wants to produce is sleep. I give-up the ghost along yawning too resist the urge to lay downwards on my aubergine couch. 

Instead, I’m writing my frustration inward my mag piece simultaneously listening to the eleven o’clock word too sneaking glances at the fourth dimension ticking yesteryear inward the corner of my lap top. Only 2 minutes accept passed too it’s torture. I hold out yesteryear myself, this crap gotta larn nigh down, NOW.

. 

I’m resisting the urge to both rage bolus amongst every fiber of my being. 

In  my high blood carbohydrate jello encephalon the give-and-take ‘waiting” too " diabetes," followed by “stuck," keep running through my mind. 

How many seconds, minutes too hours over the yesteryear 35 years accept I been stuck waiting for my diabetes to play nice?  

Seriously, if I had nickel for every hr I’d hold out really rich adult woman - If I had nickel for every 2nd - I could accept financed the cure for diabetes too accept had plenty of coin left over to go the public inward both agency too comfort 

OK, right away I accept to pee - for similar the tertiary fourth dimension inward an hour.  BRB. 

Alright I’m back, amongst an empty bladder & sans ketones - So I got that going for me. 

Seventeen minutes accept passed, half dozen to a greater extent than to larn earlier I exam my blood sugar. 

I could construct certain my go handbag is locked too loaded for tomorrow, I could crease laundry, or organize my desk. There’s a whole shit charge of things I could to construct half dozen minutes wing yesteryear quick.  But all I desire to is sleep, too writing downwards my thoughts is plenty stimulation for my high blood carbohydrate J-E-L-L-O brain. 

11: 45 p.m. too 2 minutes left earlier I exam too I accept to pee again. BRB. 

Ok I’m back. And right away I’m going to test.... And right away I’m 302 - And I’m create to throw this fucking calculator out the window!Seriously, is this a fucking joke?? 

It’s non funny - Not at all! It’s scary too frustrating too I don’t desire to bargain with this shit. But I will. 

Now I’m going to larn alter both my infusion develop too infusion site. BRB.

Diabetes may accept the upper manus right now, but  this battle isn't n over yet
 

OK, construct spanking novel reservoir too infusion set/site is consummate & equally is correction bolus. 

It’s ane infinitesimal earlier midnight too I accept to larn upwardly inward 6.5 hours. 

I accept a splitting headache, I’m sucking downwards seltzer through a straw too I merely desire to larn to bed. My eyes are starting to good upwardly too I’m trying my best to concord dorsum the tears. 

This is life, this is life amongst diabetes, high blood sugars come upwardly amongst the territory hence gyre amongst it. What goes upwardly must come upwardly downwards afterwards all - I know that, I actually do. 

But it’s moments similar this - when the waiting is torture, but necessary inward guild to  you lot know - Stay alive.  

Quitting is non an pick - Neither is failing - And apparently, neither is sleeping. 

12:46 a.m. Blood carbohydrate is right away 266 - THANK GOD. And of course of report I accept to larn pee, AGAIN. And too hence I'm going to bed!

Except.... right away I'm broad awake. :/ 

7:30 AM & ftw: Morning blood carbohydrate was 90!